My phone is ringing.
“Emily, where are you? I want talk to you.”
“I am in front of the classroom and do you have my homework? don’t forget to bring it to the class, we need to turn in it today.”
“Okay, see you in 5 minus.
This is close friend and classmate who always has troubles to deal and who always wants to be the center of everyone. On the couch on third floor where the class is, she complains to me that she is stressful because her boyfriend is not positive and is not taking care of himself and she doesn’t want to be a mom and encourage him to do this or that all the time; she feels nervous about her job interviews. Those are all very famous companies and she die to get the job there; she is worried about middle terms as well. Anyway, she is filled my problems or what she call troubles and she wants everything be ended soon so that she can release herself totally. I was listening but I cannot help thinking that how happy the girl is.
When I was 16 years old in high school, the big change in my family made me a girl take care of myself, my sister and my mother, and a girl who never say I cannot handle this or I don’t know where is the solution. Trouble is a friend in everybody’s life, you can choose to stay away from troubles or learn from them. My friend, like most of the others, is in the middle, she feels annoyed by troubles and of course, has no intention to be friend with them. However, she is not sophisticated to realize that she can benefit more from the troubles than she thought.
Here is my suggestion to her,
1. find a pencil and a piece of paper;
2. write done everything in her mind and list them in random order. Quite simple and doable, whatever jumped into her mind, write down first. But make sure everything is included in the list.
3. make a to-do list. to give everything things an order. Things need to be done today will be given a number 1. Things need to be done in this week have number 2. For things that need to be done in this week but weight differently, then give the things weight more a 2 and things that weight less a 3.
For example, homework needs to be done today, then no matter what, finish it right away, even there a hundred of other things waiting for you to deal with. They can wait. I’d like to further explain a little bit here. Things like homework, and group meetings. It might not affect you as much as an interview, however, they are your duty and promise. To function well, you just cannot sacrifice your rule and basic respect to others. Or else, you are losing yourself. Unless, you can explain to Professors or group members that things out of plan happened to you and you may not do what your suppose to do. And don’t forget to provide the solutions as well, you can explain to Professors that you want to focus on a interview from a company you want badly, and you can let your team know that either delay the meeting a few days so you can join or let meeting move on without you and you will catch up with the team ASAP. This actually is a common sense but when people are in a chaos situation, either real chaos or a chaos existed only in their mind, they become less reasonable or their ability to handle problems decreased dramatically.
4. follow the order and kill the trouble feeling one by one. Attention, one by one and do it with efficiency since we are all clear about that the thing you are doing right now needs to be finished today or to be finished to the extend you planed or else, there is no space in tomorrow, not next week for it.
After our talk, she calmed down and I can see she is thinking and planning to do what I told her. Sometimes, when you mentally map things, you already solve half of the thing. She seems happy and I am very glad to be helpful to my friend. Class begins and she decided to jump the class. I say no problem but don’t forget to explain to Professor since you don’t want to deal with a failed class by the end of the semester. Anyway, we should know that the less problem we made for ourselves, the fast we will run.
We said good bye and after half and hour I realized that I left my phone on the couch. I went back and asked people who was sitting there. They helped me check everywhere under and around the couch and we found it together in a few minutes. You think you are alone, then you are wrong, everyone is busy. Either dealing with their own problems or help others being better.